Life Lately: Kansas Edition

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Hey there! How’s your summer going? To be honest, my summer still feels slightly strange.

But let me back up—

We arrived safely in Kansas! We had a beautiful weekend to move, so much amazing help, and a fairly uneventful drive (except for the very first time one of our kids has thrown up in the car….the dvd player ended up leading to motion sickness, so we nixed it and pretended it was a road trip in the 90’s). It’s been just over a month in the new place and life seems to be settling a bit. There is still about one box per room left unopened and unpacked, but considering the size of house we downsized from to the size of house were we currently live, I count that as a victory. The rest of our unpacked boxes are still well and living in a storage unit. I can’t wait to have a basement again. Duplex life is certainly different than living in your own house. There are pros and cons. For instance, I can vacuum my whole house from one central outlet, watch the kids while I make dinner, and we have a fenced in backyard. But I also have no “other part of the house” to escape to for some quiet, my kitchen is on display 24/7 no matter what it’s cleanliness level, and (as I had the anxiety driven thought one sleepless night) you have to rely on your neighbors to not burn your house down too. But other than that, we’re settled and doing life.

We have discovered a few parks, made a few friends, routed my grocery stops, and only use the gps for places beyond the east side. We’ve even managed a family reunion, hosting my parents, and now a friend from college within our first six weeks! We are officially members at the zoo and can come and go as we please (it’s not like we live in STL “land of the most amazing and free zoo” but it’s a decent zoo). Perfect for cooler mornings and a chance to get out of the house. We’ve also found a great splash pad! Pools still make me so anxious by myself and two non-swimmer littles. I’m just convinced that someone would drown. So, splash pads are the perfect answer! Thankfully, Wichita seems to have quite a few. That being said, it still feels weird to see my friends at home play at our pool, our parks, and our favorite summer places. It’s been hard to find new places because I miss the old ones so much. I’d give anything to be back home some days.

More specifically, I’d love to feel like I did back home. I miss the familiarity, the people, the comfort of knowing and being known. I know it’s just going to take time. But this summer still feels a bit like a really boring, lonely, extended vacation. Like at any point we’re going to pack it up and go back home. Like we just have to survive two more months, that’s it, just gotta hang on. But it’s not that way. I can’t say that I’ve made total peace with being able to think long term yet. Remembering that theres no “hang on until” or “just a few years” is kind of unsettling sometimes. So instead of focusing on the fact that my kids will know more of Kansas than Missouri, I take it day by day. I cling to the Word and it’s promises. I pray, a lot. I try and be thankful for good things like Stephen coming home for a lunch break, feeling at peace at a potential church, and the way Henry is blossoming into such a great, caring, and helpful kid (who also still sometimes completely melts down at the check out….being three is ok). Anyway, I’ve been super bad about feeling inspired to have anything to do with photography lately, but I have taken a few photos since the move. I know I’ll be thankful for these memories in this season. Until next time,

-Jess

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Jessica Rutherford